Thursday, June 22, 2006

La La La La...

I wasn't as fortunate as most of the kids I grew up with. Most of them had parents who supported them and told them they're capable of anything. My parents on the other hand were too busy beating me down for getting a B+ on that math quiz or missing the shot in the big soccer game. I tried a lot of different things, kids should do but since I was never the best, my parents' non-direct statements of, "You big fat loser! I want a blood test to see if you're really my son...” kind of had a negative effect on me.

So here I am two decades or so later. I've become a cocky asshole when it comes to certain attributes my parents couldn't beat out of me like video games and... Well that's all I can think of right now. But seeing where my life and career have been heading in the past five years, I've been trying to get better in the arts. Specifically this time, my current creative projects have forced me to write lyrics for a couple of songs.

Why you ask? Well I can't say just yet because I don't want to jinx this project. Usually I start crap and never finish it because 1) I'm too damn lazy and would rather drink myself stupid with my friends and get shot down by some chick who would look incredibly unattractive under regular daytime sunlight, or 2) The tears of failure and insecurity that my parents have embedded into my way of thinking have made it very hard to see my screen and see what I'm typing.

So yeah, don't ask unless I've told you already. Sssshhh! So anyway, this thing I'm working on has actually gone further than anything else I've started so far. And I've come to a point to where I need write two songs. But not just any songs, they have to be tied into this theme. And right now I'm struggling. If you've been reading this blog, then you must already know I'm not exactly the smoothest person with words. Like last Saturday when I tried to say something to the hot chick at the gym.

Fob: *stares at hot chick in the corner for hours until finally having the courage to say something* "Um... so... w-w-w-will... I..."
Hot chick: "Excuse me!!!"
Fob: "S-s-s-s-orry... B-b-b-but w-w-w-will I be in y-y-y-your way if I work out h-h-h-here."
Hot chick: "No... go ahead" *finishes work out quickly and moves to other side of gym*
Fob: *finishes workout and goes home to cry himself to sleep*

It's not exactly radio DJ material if you know what I mean. I've always had a hard time picking my words whether it be spoken or written. Take for instance this blog entry. I actually started writing this entry 13 years ago and just finished spell checking it.

I'm just slow like that. And this is something not that serious. For me to even attempt to try and write lyrics for a song is very brave/stupid of me. So I may be in a delusional state and think I'm capable of such crazy things. But f*ck it! I might as well be a failure at as many talents as possible…

posted by Ghetto FOBulous @ 3:16 PM