Thursday, June 05, 2008

I'm back...

Per request, this is my attempt to write something of interest for those of you curious about my daily life.  Are things as exciting as it was a few years ago?  Definitely not.  Am I drinking like a fat guy at a buffet?  Certainly not.  Are my poops as painful as before?  Well, not everything changes...

Old friend:  "Hey Fob, how you been man?  It's been a while."

Fob:  "Speak louder!  I don't have my hearing aid.  Who is this? Jehovah's Witness?"

Old friend:  "No!  It's 'so-and-so'.  What's new?"

Fob:  "Oh, hey there.  Well if you must know.  My back hurts, I'm fat now, I'm high on Viagra, and I pooped my pants."

Old friend:  "Okay... Well take care.  Bye."

So I'm back.  Life's quite different now.  My situation isn't where it was two or three ago but that's not really the most notable difference.  I'd say it's more the people around me.  They've changed.  They've matured! 

I know!  What's up with that crap?  Whatever happened to getting drunk, running around in circles, and then falling over and breaking something?  Ah... the good ol' days.  Now it's like: "I got to take care of the kids." "My mortgage is killing me."  "What do you mean there's a tumor on my left testicle?"

Adulthood.  Work and family take precedence over booze and hookers.  Well, at least that's what my responsible friends tell me.  I think it's not right to leave hookers hanging like that, but that's another story.  The days of partying are coming to a close.

Now, the people close to me are married, having kids, making house payments.  It just puts things into perspective.  Which is where my thoughts are today...

I guess I can get married now because gay people won the vote.  And those kids who were calling me daddy.  I wonder how long they waited for me at the airport.  And why does a home invasion sound so reasonable now and days.  Beats making payments!

Ah... being grown up is swell...


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