Big Money... no whammy!
3... 5... 12... 16... 34... and the mega is 27.Shit! Again, another weekend, another loss. Why I keep playing this? Well, it's because I'm just as much a loser everyone else who plays this.
The Mega Lottery hit over $200 million this weekend. And just like every other poor son of a bitch with no future, I bought a couple of tickets. I know my chances of winning are about the same as me getting in a sex sandwich with Keira Knightly and Jessica Alba. Our schedules are too busy and I keep missing their calls. But anyway, it doesn't bother me that I'm a sucker wasting 2 or 3 bucks every so often. What I want to know is does everyone else feel as lame as I do when you walk in to buy those damn things? Like you feel guilty for buying Lotto tickets?
I don't know what exactly it is, but it feels similar to the first time I bought condoms. Like I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing. I might as well top it off and ask for both together with a bottle of alcohol.
Fob: *looks around* "Hi... um... can I get 3 bucks on the Mega, a pack of trojans, and a bottle of your finest Ol' English."
Store Owner: "That'll be 14 dollars."
Fob: "Hmm..." *checks pockets* "Better make that Steel Reserve instead of OE..."
I'm trying not to be a 'tard who puts all his hopes and dreams on a stupid lottery ticket. I'd like to think my life is much better than that. But lets face it, I do it because I have those pipe dreams just like what they show on those commercials for the Lotto. Doing what you want, without having to worry about the cash. Who wouldn't think it'd be nice to have a life with no financial worries? It would be a welcome change to work a profession without having to worry about how much I make. Just like that time I worked as Hugh Hefner's stunt double.
Director: "Okay Hugh, you're going to walk into the bedroom with these three playboy bunnies."
Hugh: "I'm sorry I've overdosed on Viagra this week. I can't have sex with these bunnies."
Director: "It's okay. We've thought of that. Stunt double!!!"
Fobby: "Coming!!! Hello ladies!!!!"
posted by Ghetto FOBulous @ 2:44 PM
2 Comments:
I guess we'll know that you finally won when we don't see you around at work anymore eh?
Knowing FOB, he'll come to work anyway just to mess with people.
"Hey, FOB, could you have this done before you go to lunch?"
"I could, but I'm rich, bitch... so no."
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