Vegas Baby!
Trent: They're gonna give daddy the Rainman suite, you dig that?Mike: Do you think we'll get there by midnight?
Trent: Baby, we're going to be up five hundy by midnight!
Mike: Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!
Trent: Vegas baby! Vegas!
Mike: Vegas!
The party capital. Land of sin. It's the place you go to do things you normally would not do at home like gambling away your rent money, clubbing until 6 a.m., drinking more alcohol than your body can hold, and hooking up with a person so ugly that normally you'd cut out your eyes if forced to stare at him/her for too long.
Those activities are fine and dandy, but the shadiness doesn't stop there. I recently found something new that I know you dirty lonely whores on a budget would enjoy. Since prostitution is so expensive, why don't you get out cheap by heading over to Chinatown in Vegas off "Mountain Spring Rd." and get yourself a happy endings massage.
Why I know this you ask? Well my friends and I had the bright idea of getting a massage but the prices at the hotel are beyond what my poor ass can afford. So we head over to Chinatown thinking of getting a legitimate massage for significantly less.
Now what they actually do, I can't say because I chose not to receive the happy ending. I figured if God wanted me to do a prostitute, he would have let my mail ordered Thai bride into this country. So I can't say for sure. But my friend who's 30 minute massage took an hour seemed extremely satisfied when he came out. What happened? He won't say. But I speculate it went something like...
Masseuse: "Prease take off yur crothes!"
Friend: "Um... everything?"
Masseuse: "Yes prease." *starts rubbing him down*
Friend: "Excuse me that's my penis. My back's over here."
Masseuse: "Yes, special massage. You pay more later."
Friend: "Um.... I... can't.... afford... HOW MUCH IS IT ANYWAY?"
Masseuse: "For you special price. 35 dolla."
Friend: "That's... fine... I MEAN THAT'S TOO MUCH! 20 dollars?"
Masseuse: "Okay I give you special price. $34.50"
Friend: "No... I... can't.... AHHHHH!!! Damn! Here's $40. Keep the change."
Did this actually happen? Probably not. Does my friend have a new STD? Probably so...
posted by Ghetto FOBulous @ 3:39 PM
1 Comments:
There's a spa in my old hometown that got closed down for prostitution, before my time of course. There's also a place up the road called "Massage Envy" whose name always piques my objective curiosity >_>
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