Ghetto FOBulous

Do. Or do not. There is no try.

Fob: "Damn it Master Yoda! Why you always giving me shit?"
Yoda: "Weak you are in the force. Think you can. Lazy you are."
Fob: "Keep talking! I just might shove this light-saber up your kermit ass!"
Yoda: "If you must. Enjoy it, I will..."
Fob: "Ah forget it, I'm out of here. Princess Leia promised me a gold bikini lap dance."
Yoda: "Give up. That is why you failed."

Whatever teacher it was that told me I can be anything I want to be when I grow up was full of shit. Just because you want to do something doesn't mean it's within your means to do so. And how I know this? Well I thought I was more talented than what I really am.

My sleepless nights, when I can't stop thinking about how poor I am, I figure, "Why stay up thinking about this crap? I might as well be productive." So I turn my attention to the million art projects that I'm working on but never finish. And recently I started thinking of something new. Something that I thought I had a good idea for. A musical... I don't want to go into detail but it's a movie musical.

So the next day I go to work and pitch this idea to a coworker who's been really good about explaining to me on how to go about making these things happen. He tells me, "You F-ing idiot! You can't do that! You're too stupid!" And then he slaps me and drives to my parents house to slap them too for having me.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. But basically, doing a musical is a lot harder than what I realized. Aside from writing a good script, you have to compose music, write lyrics, choreograph dance routines, and sleep with all kinds of production assistants. It's a lot of work. And whether I'm up for that kind of work doesn't matter because I'm just not knowledgeable enough to do this.

So here I am. Crying in the corner. Beaten by the skills I don't have. Just like that time I thought I could beat Steven Seagal in thumb wrestling.

Steven & Fobby together: "One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!"
*breaks Fobby's arm off and throws him through a wall*
Fobby: "Ouch man! That hurt. Stop cheating!"
Steven: "That's for not watching Out For Justice."
Fobby: "Is that the one with the Jamaican dudes?"
Steven: "No that's Marked for Death. Out for Justice was when I was a cop hunting those Italian mafia guys."
Fobby: "Oh yeah. And then they take over your ship and you use your navy seal skills to kill them."
Steven: "No that's Under Siege... F-it. Nevermind..." *snaps fobby's neck*

posted by Ghetto FOBulous @ 11:21 AM