Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Where's my Olsen Twin?

I’m sweaty.  Tired.  And sore.  And better yet, I’m all of these at work.  The good news, it won’t affect my promotion.  The bad news, I’m more likely to get fired or demoted anyway.  I’m sure they’d move me into a fluffer or whipping boy position if they had one.  So my whole thing with being offensive aromatically is my way of getting back at them.  Not that anyone cares.  So sad...

Still, today I feel somewhat accomplished.  I arrived at work environmentally friendly.  Today was the first day I rode my bike into work.  That’s right ladies and gentlemen.  Tour de South Bay started this morning as I was awake much earlier cruising along with the ocean breeze in my face, cycling my way to work.  

Today I am a do-gooder of nature.  Damn you oil companies!  Damn you terrorists!  Damn you cool sail looking hotel in Dubai!!! For I will not contribute to your extravagant lifestyle.  Nevermind, that I drive an SUV and rev my engine wasting fuel and adding pollution just because I like the way it sounds.  I am now a professional cyclist!  Lance Armstrong and I are now one of a kind.

So I’m ready for my benefits.  I’m not quite sure on this but I heard one of the perks of not polluting the environment was getting your very own Olsen twin. 

I don’t know which one he has and which one is available but if I ge to pick, I’ll take the one that’s anorexic.  It’ll save me the trouble of making her feel bad about getting fat.

Me:  “Hey.. Mary-Kate Ashley Christina Jessica Ronnie Bobby Ricky Mike.  You look different.  Is that only three ribs I can count on you?  Hmm... Yesterday I was able to count four ribs.”

Olsen Twin:  “Really?!?! Excuse me.  I have to use the restroom...”


At 11:13 PM, Blogger mojo shivers said...

Olsen Twins? Really?


I'll have to look into this matter myself.


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