Ghetto FOBulous

Fire in the hole!

Well... my ass blew up this Christmas.

And you'd think something like this would happen on New Years when I'm drunk and stupid. But no, this post has nothing to do with any gay love. Kinda sad huh? I might have preferred that. Anyway, I went to the annual Chili Cook-Off at Nugget's house for Christmas Eve. It's usually a fun event where my friends and I drink a lot, we watch some porn, and eat some of old man Nugget's chili.

And it just so happens last year I tried eating a bowl of this super hot, habanero infested chili, and sweated away 10 pounds. I was such a bitch about it last year that I tried to prove myself this year. Man, am I dumb. I ate about one and half bowls before the pain in my stomach hit me. It hurt bad. Kind of like Aliens when they're punching out of your stomach. It hurt so bad I passed out for a bit.

So basically I go the rest of the night not drinking anymore, which sucked, just drinking water. The next morning I wake up to find this grumbling in my crack going on. I'm a little groggy so I think nothing of it and go to take a dumb. And then's when someone lit my butthole on fire. Man, that was worse than my stomach hurting. I almost felt like rubbing ice cubes on my exit hole, but then I remembered I didn't enjoy it that much the first time I did that.

So... anyway, I just don't think I'll ever beat the chili. I lost twice. And this year it kicked my ass. Literally... Chili: 2, Fob: 0.

posted by Ghetto FOBulous @ 10:49 AM