Ghetto FOBulous

No more booze... for now...

In the wise words of Whistler from the Blade movies, "I feel like hammered sh!t."

That's exactly how I felt for the past two days. I knew for sure I'd be drinking this weekend since it's the 4th of July, but I didn't think I'd feel like I turned 21 all over again. Or at least the day after...

This past Sunday was our annual 4th of July party with some of my friends. We swim, we drink, we throw each other in the pool, we eat, I usually hurt myself somewhere in between all that, and then we drink some more. (F-U tooth haters!!!) But aside from it being a holiday, it's also my buddy Peter's birthday. So in typical asian fashion we head over to Highlands to party it up. And this happens to be the first time in a very long time we all head over there as a group. It ended up being a huge celebration. I haven't drank that much in many, many moons. I don't think I did anything stupid. And when I mean stupid, I mean I don't think I fooled around with any girls. If I did... my bad... I hope she was legal.

Leaving the club was pretty blurry. I remember slapping some girl's @ss outside, but that's about it. I think I passed out after that. But my friends insisted on eating after so I had to wake up and sit there at some restaurant and not fall over or puke onto anyone's bulgogi. I knew by then that I was going to be jacked. Of course I can't do anything about it by then. But at least I was still trying to be a wing man for boy Jason, and the girls we met to go eat with. I made a couple of comments that I think helped out but I can only open the door. Jay's got to learn to walk through it. (Jason: Look I don't care if they're not hot! Just get in there and get your PP wet)

I think I lasted about a good 15 minutes sitting there before I realized I was done. I mean once the eyes start to glaze over, it's sandman time or hugging the toilet. Take your pick. I chose to pass out in the car.

Hence the next morning comes that good ol' feeling of hammered sh!t. What does that feel like? It's hard to describe if you haven't been through it. But basically your head feels like someone took a bat to it, your stomach is ready to go inside out, and the worst part.... At least for me... is the alcohol sh!ts. Man, my butthole is just not equipped to handle that kind of damage. I try and keep that bad boy tight. I guess you can say I'm saving myself for my first cell mate.

So yeah! No more alcohol. I'm swearing it off. The feeling of hammered sh!t just isn't worth it. I'll just stick to my green tea and Powerade.




Disclaimer:
I now or never shall actually quit drinking alcohol for a period longer than 48 hours unless 1.) They stop making it. Or 2.) Someone sews my mouth shut, in which case I will inject it into my blood.

This post is just a lie I tell myself every time I go through this. So don't burst my bubble and let me live my lie until I break it.

posted by Ghetto FOBulous @ 10:25 AM